Madusa Opens Up About Her Childhood Trauma And Struggling To Feel "Normal"

Most people remember Madusa/Alundra Blayze for her lengthy wrestling career as she was a staple in both WWE and WCW in the 1990s. But the real-life story of Madusa is even more compelling and has been converted into a docuseries.

One of the pivotal scenes from the series is the recreation of when Madusa's mother burned her when she was a kid. Madusa talked more about that when she spoke to Wrestling Inc. on our WINCLY podcast.

"Writing about it is therapy, but when you have to direct and reenact the whole scene with a child?Of course, I held everything in and kept my cool but at the end of the day I went back to my hotel and I let it all out," admitted Madusa. "You realize that I am who I am because of this and I'm here to help others because of this."

Madusa said she was poor while growing up and that in order to get vinyl records she would have to buy cereal boxes with the records on the back of them. One day Madusa was playing records and her mom didn't like it so she burned her.

"There was a moment, not just one, but several times she erupted and dragged me through the room and burned myself and my records over the stove to teach a child a lesson," revealed Madusa.

"That is just a basic scene in there and it's just one. I'm not gonna go through everything as there's just a few here and there. This is not about being a victim; I am not a victim. I am a child who overcame the things I was dealt in life. We all have choices and I chose what I needed to do for survival because survival is the best revenge."

With everything that she went through, Madusa was asked if she had any advice to others who may have endured the same type of abuse that she did.

"I'm not a doctor and I'm not prescribing anything but I can tell you what has helped me as a person, a human being and as a wife. There are a couple of things I can't tell you, but you'll find out in the documentary," said Madusa.

"I chose to hold everything in as I never saw any doctors. I'm a self healer like a mo-fo. I found my way through other passages and I'm a huge introvert...If I saw somebody struggling or I could see signs of a child who was raped or abused, I have a sense of that because I've been through all of that. I can reach out to them and let them feel my side. People that are struggling right now, I was never on one drug. I was the worst ADD child and was never on drugs to take care of that. I found other ways and found my way to be active to keep busy. I did opposite things that were harming me and I would take my aggression out on that."

She added that the last thing people that are struggling need is people telling them what they need to do. She said that everyone needs one person who they trust and love to talk to.

"In my whole life, I never had that trust and love. It was always uncertainty and heartbreak, even through my relationships. It always had to do with proving my love because I was seeking it so hard," said Madusa.

"We need that one person to always go to for trust. My trust level has been the sh*ts my whole life only because of what I've been through. I've had to learn to trust and have always done everything on my own so it was hard to ask for help."

Madusa said friends are like seasons as they can change and decide to crap on you and you feel like you did something wrong.

"It's not you, it's because they can't keep up with you. You're not wrong and you're normal," stated Madusa.

No one would ever know about the trauma Madusa experienced from looking at her wrestling character alone. She talked about pro wrestlers hiding behind their characters and also hiding their feelings.

"We don't wanna lose anymore people in our business because of it being so convoluted as far as who we are. A lot of people could not separate who they were. I worked with Randy Savage and Randy was Randy 24/7. You didn't know who was who half the time," said Madusa.

"But I think it's important how they're doing it now with separating the job from the personal life. That's very important and I struggled with that my whole life. If you were to come to my house, you would never know what I did for the last 30 years. There was not one wrestling photo hung up or hero book or action figure. I separated my life from my business at the door."

She added that she is happy she didn't go down the road of alcohol and drugs. Madusa also said she hopes that wrestlers are being taught to be who they are as a human once they leave the WWE PC and are done training each day because social media can sometimes be an extension of their characters.

"On social media today, that's even crazier because we didn't have that. We had you guys who wrote magazines and you were our social media," stated Madusa. "Thank God for Bill Apter, George Napolitano and Dave Meltzer. They were my social media and today, trying to separate your character from your social media and personal life, it looks very confusing out there."

Madusa is currently running an IndieGoGo campaign for her "My Personal Revolution Series". To donate and become a part of the project please visit click here.

Madusa's full interview with Wrestling Inc aired as part of a recent episode of our WINCLY podcast. It can be heard via the embedded audio player at the bottom of this post. You can check out past episodes of the WINCLY here. Subscribe to Wrestling Inc. Audio on iTunes or Google Play. Listen to the show via Spotify here or through TuneIn here.