We're coming to the end of the season of Total Divas, which can only mean one thing: a new season of Total Bellas! (What -- you're not excited?) But in the meantime, tonight's episode was all about various types of "family affairs," which was a nice switch from the previous episodes, which were all about partying, dating, and being The! Rock's! Cousin!
So let's get to it.
Brie and Nikki Bella are a little bit aimless without a chance to fight in the ring -- and things only get worse when Nikki is invited to compete on Dancing with the Stars (and she was robbed -- robbed, we tell you!). Fans of the WWE will recall that last year, around this time, Nikki got an offer to appear on DWTS, but turned it down in favor of returning to the ring. Well, this year, she decided to take the producers up on the offer, and this leaves Brie feeling a type of way -- especially since she and her sister decided, prior to Nikki's acceptance of the DWTS gig, that they would focus on their ventures, Belle Radici and Birdiebee. Now that Nikki has taken off to dance the night away, the pressure of the businesses falls squarely on Brie's shoulders, and she feels a type of way. It's only after having a chat with the ever-patient Daniel Bryan that Brie realizes that she needs to be there for her sister, and she decides to shoulder the weight of the businesses while Nikki competes for the Mirror Ball. Brie even goes so far as to give Nikki a pair of dancing shoes as a peace offering. Aw!
Meanwhile, we cut to Lana and Rusev, and it starts to look like something you'd see on HGTV. In fact, during their segments, you can almost hear that annoying narrator on that House Hunters show (House Hunters: WWE Edition?): "Today on House Hunters, Lana and Rusev are looking for their dream home in Bulgaria. They want an open concept kitchen, an en suite bathroom, and an outdoor yurt. Their budget is $800,000." Barf!
But in reality, these two lovebirds are celebrating the one-year anniversary of their marriage by buying a second home in Rusev's home country, which is really kind of sweet, when you think about it.
Lana, of course, would like a "big mansion," because she's never been to Bulgaria or seen an episode of the aforementioned House Hunters, but Rusev -- being from the actual country -- is a lot more realistic with his wants, and instead suggests that the Ravishing Russian consider a more, erm, realistic sized home. Nevertheless, the two come up with an agreement: if Lana can complete three farm tasks, she can have her mansion; if she can't, Rusev gets his country home.
Needless to say, Lana passes the farm tasks with flying colors...and to prove that she's not all copper, she decides that she'll let her man have his country home after all.
Carmella and Big Cass, for their part, realize that their dollars go further in Tampa, FL, than in Los Angeles, CA, and have decided to make the big move across the country into their new Tampa mansion. Everything is coming up roses for the rather unfortunate looking couple, until Cass tears his ACL on Raw just as his singles run is starting to catch momentum. As an end result, he's benched for the rest of the season, leaving him incapable of lending any type of hand for this huge cross-country move. SMH!
And what's more, when the happy couple finally lands in Florida, Cass invites Carmella's father and sister to help her with the move (presumably because he can't do it himself). And while, initially, Carmella takes this invite as the idea that Cass will want to ask Carmella's father for his daughter's hand in marriage, but instead, it comes out that Carmella's father is former pro wrestler Paul Van Dale, and he'd like to begin managing Cass and his career.
This whole storyline, itself, is simply annoying.
Less annoying is the final story of the night, which comes courtesy of Natalya, who is really concerned about proving herself as a stand-alone wrestler that is both independent of her family name and worthy of the title. At first, the so-called "Queen of Harts" tells her father that she's concerned that she'll be another "flash in the pan" wrestler, and that she's afraid she won't be able to hold on to the title, especially since she has to defend it from Naomi. Everyone in her family reminds her that she's a Hart, and that she's more than capable of standing on her own two feet. And when she finally defends her title, successfully, against Naomi, Natalya realizes that her place in wrestling history is secure, and she'll always be remembered as one of the first-ever women's champions.
The two-part season finale of Total Divas airs beginning next week.