AAA TripleMania XXIII Results: Rey Mysterio Vs. Myzteziz Dream Match, Alberto El Patron Vs. Cage

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- The announcers are introduced, and we see a hype video set to the Mission Impossible theme. They also use The Fugees "Ready or Not" but we have some audio difficulties early on.

Daga, Mamba, Mini Psycho Clown & Sexy Star vs. Dinastia, Drago, Goya Kong & Pimpinela Escarlata

This is a free-for all with minis, women and normal wrestlers all allowed to take each other on. Drago dominates almost everyone before landing a huge flip dive to the outside. Pimpinela lands a big arm drag to Sexy Star, then Kong armdrags her and Mamba. Kong and Pimpinela tease dives to the outside, but don't do it.

Sexy Star does a stink face to Kong, and Psycho Clown helps clear the ring. Kong comes back in and gets quadruple team as Pimpinela just chills out and watches, then kisses Daga. Kong with stink face to Sexy Star, and this match is a circus.

Drago kicks Mamba outside and dives onto her, as Dinastia and Pimpinela both hit dives to the outside. Daga follows right after. Kong even hits a dive off of the apron, which leaves Pimpinela in the ring to get beat up by Sexy Star. Pimpinela applies a bow and arrow submission for the win.

Winners: Dinastia, Drago, Goya Kong & Pimpinela Escarlata via submission (bow and arrow lock)

Pimpinela kisses Matt Striker's cheek after the match.

- Tropicasas is brought out for his last match as a ref. We have more audio issues.

Villano III's Farewell Match
Los Psycho Circus vs. Los Villanos

The Villanos are allowed to put their masks back on for this match only, as permitted by the athletic commission. Things break down quickly and Monster Clown is sent outside. The remaining two clowns are sent into each other, and Psycho Clown eats a double back body drop and double elbow. The Villanos then try to rip off Pyscho Clown's mask.

The Villanos basically just triple team each of the clowns in a a slow, plodding uneventful first several minutes. The Clowns then triple team V3, and land a unique triple splash on him. Another Villano V falls victim to the Wazzup headbutt, but no pin is made. A tower of doom spot earns a two count on Monster Clown, and the AAA audio issues get worse.

Two Villano V and IV hit suicide dives, an it leaves V3 in the ring with Psycho Clown. Clown hits a diving headbutt, and has V3 pinned, but stops the pin, and says he wants Villano IV, who called him out months ago. Either way, V4 runs him over and pins him. That was bad.

Winners: Villanos via pinfall

Villano III is done. It's a shame it was in such a bad match.

AAA World Trios Title Match
Cage Ladder Match
Los Hell Brothers (c) vs. Jack Evans, Angelico & Fénix vs. Pentagon Jr., Hijo Del Fantasma & El Texano Jr.

All hell breaks loose right out of the gate, and Texano is in there using his bullrope. Fenix, Angelico and Jack Evans are getting beat down pretty badly. Pentagon Jr stomps Evans' nuts from the top rope, and then takes a cookie sheet to all three members of his team. Jack Evans is up and climbing, but Fantasma pull him down into a big cutter.

Fenix makes a brief comeback, but gets cut off pretty quickly, as does Jack Evans. As is tradition, Angelico also gets cut off and slammed by Los Hell Brothers. Fenix mounts another comeback, but eats a monkey bar powerbomb from Pentagon. Jack Evans recovers and does a shooting star body block while hanging from the bars.

Chessman is sent into a table ringside, but it doesn't break. Texano is speared through a table, and Angelico and Evans are knocked to the outside of the ring. Fenix then hits an amazing moonsault off the cage to Pentagon.

Averno, Fantasma and Angelico are up top, and Angelico eats canvas. Averno kicks Fantasma right between the legs and grabs the title.

Winners: Los Hell Brothers to retain the AAA Trios Championships

The low blow at the end was among the hardest in pro wrestling history. Ouch.

Blue Demon Jr. & La Parka Vs. El Mesias & Electro Shock

Demon and ES trade holds, with ES coming out on top, but both men tag out. Muertes and ES take turns beating up La Parka until he lands a running head scissors. That offense is quickly shut down by a charging Mesias, who runs La Parka over. Parka fights back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to Mesias, then plants ES with a punch.

Demon tags in and runs wild on both Mesias and ES, but stops dead in his tracks before a dive to the floor, and tags to Parka. Mesias and Parka duke it out, but Mesias beats the hell out of him. Parka dives onto Mesias on the floor, and ES powerbombs Demon for two. The ref had a really slow count there. Demon hits a running headbutt and locks on El Pulpo for the win.

Winners: Blue Demon Jr & La Parka via submission (El Pulpo)

For the record, that isn't the original La Parka from WCW. For those of you who don't know, though, Mesias is Mil Muertes.

- We get a tribute to the late, great, Hector Garza and Perro Aguayo Jr. They're inducted into the AAA Hall of Fame.

Hair vs. Hair
Alberto El Patron (w/ Fenix) vs. Brian Cage (w/ El Hijo del Fantasma)

El Patron attacks early and lands a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Patron applies an armbar, but Cage powerbombs his way out of it. Cage cracks Patron over the head with a chair, then dumps him outside the ring. Patron is busted wide open and sent back inside the ring.

Cage hits a standing moonsault, but only gets a two count. Patron scores a neckbreaker, but is clotheslined. El Hijo del Fantasma and Fenix get involved, with Fenix taking out Fantasma. Cage then powerbombs Fenix into the ringpost and throws him into the aisle.

AEP with an armbar, but it's over the ropes, and he's taken out by Cage yet again. Patron fights back with a lungblower for two, but walks right into another Cage lariat. Cage brings a board and a table, and the ref adjusts it for Cage. Cage tries to toss AEP off the top rope, but ends up getting double foot stomped in the corner. Cage then reverses and armbar and is sent through the board.

Patron pins Cage, but the ref won't count it. Patron gets mad and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and superkick to the ref, followed by a DDT to Cage. When he sets up Cage for a Frankensteiner, Cage powerbombs him through the table, but there is no ref. A tecnico referee comes out, but it's a two count.

Cage destroys Patron with chair shots, but Patron catches him with a low blow, runs him into a chair and applies the armbar for the submission win!

Winner: Alberto El Patron via submission (armbar)

Brian Cage has his head shaved after the match. He tries to attack Patron but gets powerbombed. Patron drapes the Mexican flag over Cage.

Rey Mysterio Jr vs. Myzteziz

A handshake starts off this match, and it feels like a big one. Rey sends Myzteziz outside with an arm drag, then back inside, Mysterio lands a high flying snap mare, and Myzteziz looks frustrated. Myzteziz settles for punching Mysterio in the mouth,and the crowd doesn't seem happy.

Myzteziz tries to pull Rey's mask over his eyes, then slip n' slides Mysterio out of the ring to the floor. Myzteziz powerbombs Rey into Hugo and Striker's table (hehe), but it doesn't break.

Mysterio comes out of nowhere with a running headscissors to send Myzteziz outside the ring. Rey huracanranas Myzteziz into the ring post, and slams his head into it several times. Mysterio ends up in the ring and Myzteziz on the apron and Myzteziz suplexes Rey outside through the table. Back inside the ring, it only gets a two count.

Myzteziz hits a turnbuckle bomb, but Mysterio sends him outside and scores a huge seated senton to the outside. Back inside, Rey scores a fantastic roll up, but gets two off of the slowest count in wrestling history. The two trade pin attempts, and receive equally tedious counts from the ref. Finally Myzteziz hits an alley-oop to slow things down. Myzteziz lands a corkscrew Swanton, but gets a two count.

Rey pushes Myzteziz off the top rope, but flies into a big spinning side slam for another two count, that probably should have been a 7 count. Myzteziz counters a 619, lands one of his own and finds success with a frog splash, but it doesn't get the job done.

Rey hits a big 619 and rolls Myzteziz up for about 6 seconds, but it's a two count here. Either way, Rey hits a La Mistica and gets a submission.

Winner: Rey Mysterio via submission (La Mistica)

Pentagon Jr, Averno and Joe Lider attack Myzteziz and Mysterio with a staple gun. Myzteziz and Mysterio fight back and Myzteziz staples Lider. Myzteziz turns on Rey and says he doesn't care about the fans or Rey. He turns full heel, and challenges Mysterio to a mask vs. mask match. He powerbombs Rey through a ringside table, then does a military press gutbuster. Apparently Konnan is in the ring doing something, but the feed gets cut in the middle of a main event angle. You can't make this stuff up.