The show begins as Justin Roberts welcomes the crowd. Disappointing to see no Daniel Bryan or Fandango merchandise at the stands. With almost the entire crowd wearing Cena "Rise Above Hate" tshirts, this is going to be a long night! I've got good seats, though, so can't wait for things to kick off.
R-Truth vs. Heath Slater
R-Truth comes out to loud "What's up chants". The match is slightly dull, though, with Slater blatantly overdoing the comedy act. But Truth keeps the match going and picks up the win.
Kaitlyn and The Funkadactyls vs Tamina and The Bellas
Excuse Me! Vickie Guerrero comes out to a chorus of boos. She takes over from Justin Roberts to announce this filler match right at the beginning. The Funkadactyls aren't half bad in the ring. Tamina is a she-beast in comparison to the others. Kaitlyn gets the pin with whatever her finisher is.
Justin Roberts announces that we get to choose if AJ Lee should stay at ringside or not for the tag title match later tonight by tweeting using hashtags #AJReste or #AJPart. It is France, you know?
Winner: Kaitlyn and Funkadactyls
William Regal vs Michael McGillicutty
William Regal is here?! I'm happily surprised to see the crowd bow down to Regal throughout the match. He looks totally out of shape in the ring but is working this crowd tremendously well. Unfortunately McGillicutty is worse than Heath Slater and makes a fool of himself often with his idiotic facial expressions and over –selling. Expectedly, Regal picks up the win.
We are already an hour in and no real signs of Fandangoing yet.
Winner: William Regal
I'm psyched to see these guys, and by now I've had enough of the annoying old ladies behind me asking me to sit down, so I easily manage to walk down and occupy an empty seat ringside, first row right by the corner steps. Good deal!
Ziggler, Big E, and AJ Lee enter the ring and Ziggler gets massive pops from the ringside crowd, who appear to be a lot smarter than the backseaters, who boo Ziggler loud enough to keep it interesting. Next up, Daniel Bryan! This is when the crowd goes crazy. They shout very loud YES YES YES chants, followed by an even louder Goatface one, to which Bryan reacts slightly surprised but positively. Kane enters the ring and the match begins.
This is a really fast-paced match with Ziggler vs Bryan doing most of the in-ring work and Kane vs Langston doing the monster stuff. Langston breaks out of Kane's chokeslam the same way we have seen him over the past few weeks. The crowd gets a bit smarky now, chanting "Bobby Lashley" to Langston – I'm not sure that's needed. The arena is pretty small so the wrestlers can easily hear what people ringside are saying, and it seemed to distract Langston a bit.
By now, Ziggler is really selling to Bryan's kicks. This crowd is really hot. Finally,Bryan picks up the win by pinning Ziggler after a diving headbutt.
As Ziggler and his gang begin to part, Kane and Bryan are playing the crowd. They begin their "I am the tag team champion" thing, followed by which Bryan proclaims that he does not in fact have a goatface. The two pretend to attack each other until they finally make up and hug. A very enjoyable match, made even more enjoyable since I got an autograph from Daniel Bryan while he was making his way back.
Winner: Team Hell No
Tons of Funk vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Wow, after Regal, Ziggler and Bryan, we get Rhodes Scholars? Business is picking up. Tons of Funk do their dance routine, but sadly Rhodes Scholars don't get mic time. Tensai gets a lot of Albert chants, but seems to be doing well in this comedy role. He performs several rolling manoeuvres and a Rikishi Stink Face. Rhodes seems to be a crowd favourite despite being manhandled by Tons of Funk, while Cody's mustache also gets a pop. Albert hits a big drop on Rhodes, when a fun little incident occurs. I shout out loudly – "my bad!", to which Brodus turns around from the turnbuckle, walks down the steps during the match, and comes to us and yells "my bad", and taps our hands. It's all fun and games, and it ends with Tons of Funk doing their double splash on Sandow and picking up the win.
After the match, some French celebrities walk into the ring and start dancing with the others in the ring.
Winner: Tons of Funk
Now Cesaro? Suddenly this is a great card. Cesaro is doing really well to generate heat, especially with his Switzerland flag, though I'm surprised he doesn't cut a quick promo in French, nor does he yodel. Midway during the match, our section of the crowd begins Fandangoing loudly, which I admit I joined in completely (who wouldn't when Zack Ryder is in the ring?). This is where the smarky crowd behind me gets slightly annoying. They begin with random "Kassius Ohno" or "King of Wrestling chants". Cesaro seems to get quite upset but does well to turn that into legit heat. He stops midway through his match, exits the ring, walks up towards us, and starts yelling at us to shut up. Soon after, Cesaro hits his finisher and becomes the first heel of the night to emerge victorious.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Main Event: John Cena vs Ryback in a Tables match for the WWE Title
The crowd juts goes nuts when Cena's music hits – women, children, and grown men all alike. It's insane, but there are still ferociously loud "Let's Go Cena – Cena Sucks" chants. This match starts of quite slow but picks up pace. It turns out to be a lot more aggressive than I would have imagined for a non-televised event. Ryback hits Cena's head with the steel steps multiple times. Ryback seems pretty confused in the ring to me, which is no wonder that he started getting Goldberg chants, to which he amply displayed his annoyance. Cena starts to get in some offence and is finally able to send Ryback through the table, thus ending the match.
Winner: John Cena
After the match, Cena cuts a promo completely in French, which is commendable. He ends the night the same way as he ended RAW two weeks ago - by placing the belt in the ring and proclaiming that the crowd are the real champions. To be honest, a large part of this crowd was surprisingly pretty hot all night and deserves props.
As we exit, some fans stay back for some Fandangoing and some pictures with Charles Robinson and Justin Roberts.
#WWEParis was the official hashtag and it now contains several pictures and wrestler tweets from the show.