|By Marc Middleton | November 23, 2012 | Comments|
"Man, I'm not a god damn dog that did a trick, but that's the way I treated myself. The next thing I know, I'm getting off a plane in Atlanta…and Dallas is there, I don't know why Dallas is there. We get back to the house and I find out I had been pretty stupid and ridiculous, and basically had gone through a four hour blackout. Blacked out. Didn't know what I had done, what I had said, who I had offended…thank god I wasn't in jail. I think if Dallas hadn't been at the airport I would have ended up in there.
"Next morning, we get up and Dallas is saying 'last week you did really well, then you go out this week and totally screw up…so here's the new deal. Absolutely no alcohol. And at that point I'm like, you are absolutely right…because the s--t isn't doing you any good. Then he was like 'you should go back to A.A…so two days later I went back…but then I went to Dallas and was like 'I agree with the no drinking thing, but you're gonna have to help me'…so we went to a doctor and got set up with something called anti-buse. Brother, if you drink alcohol with that stuff it will drop you like a gunshot. It will make you so violently ill, that you will not think about drinking. But it's a crutch for me. It's a safety line, and being here with Dallas, he's making me change my way of thinking about things."
On his ambitions for the future: "I've got a life man…I'm dreaming again…it might take more than 24 hours to fix this s--t, so I just need to shut up, get in the car and go for the ride with [Dallas]…I have unlimited dreams. I'm thinking about building furniture again, because I loved to build furniture. For the first time I got on a computer…here I am 57 years old and I don't even know how to turn a computer on. But now I want to do it, I want to accomplish these goals. Before I never wanted to do it…my mind is clicking again man.
"I'm happy, I feel good about myself. Yeah I've got a long way, but brother, I've already been a long way…I've already been a long way man. I never thought I would be in the shape I'm in now, much less where I'm going. I'm calling my children, I'm developing relationships, I'm calling my mother again… I'm gonna do this. I want to do this, I need to do this, because I know I'm a good human being, I've always been a good human being, I've just been a disturbed human being. I'm not letting the demons beat my ass anymore. Those demons have not got a chance.
"There is nobody that could hang with me in the ring in my heyday, can you imagine if I hadn't been screwed up? I would have left them so far behind, but that's OK man. You know, I retired from the ring two years ago. But you know what, I'm going to go back in…for a short run. Just a few matches. That way, I can say goodbye the way I wanted to. Not 310 lbs, couldn't hardly get in the ring and look like s--t. I deserve more than that! I wanna get in there and stand with my head held high and say 'I am the f---ing man' and I'm a good man. That's how I want to say goodbye to my fans."
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