Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, July 13th, 2009 (USA Network)
Location: The Amway Arena in Orlando, Fla.
Results by 411Mania.com

“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”

-Live from Amway Arena in Orlando, FL

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry "The King" Lawler

-Triple H is out to start the show, and is apparently hinting at a secret alliance with Legacy going with the t-shirt-wrestling trunks attire rather than street clothes. Trips has a big smile on his face, and looks a little more DX and a little less Game. He says he needs to catch us up to speed in case we've been living under a rock the past month. He goes over Trump buying Raw, and then McMahon buying it back. He introduces tonight's guest host Seth Green. Green comes out to Welcome to the Jungle which made me think Jim Rome might be the guest host for a second. That would be the greatest moment in Raw history. Green appears to be smaller than Hornswoggle by the way. He says he can do whatever he wants tonight, so he books a six person diva swimsuit summer spectacular. I hate him already. He says it's all in the spirit of athletic competition, and HHH agrees saying its what make him such a fan of Robot Chicken. HHH pimps the premier episode on July 26th, and says it has the biggest superstar in the world on it. Of course the guest is Triple H himself, and the clip features the single worst Jim Ross impression ever. The clip is of HHH fighting Dakota Fanning, and Green mentions that HHH has experience fighting whining little girls as he told him ever since his first match with Randy Orton. HHH mockingly says he never actually said Orton is a girl even though he is in fact just that. HHH says he has all the respect in the world for Orton and Dakota Fanning, because neither have male genitalia. That brings out Orton who doesn't find this new whacky DX style HHH very amusing. Orton says he has something that HHH doesn't and that's the WWE Title. Orton calls out Seth Green for taking shots at him, and reminds him of his anger management issue. He says he might punt someone in the head at a moment's notice no matter how big they are. HHH suggests a main event of him vs. Orton tonight, but Orton says that since Cena and Orton are going to lose to him at the PPV there is no sense in him beating one of them tonight. HHH says he'll just drop him right now, so Orton says he's got nothing more to say and starts to leave. Orton stops to call out Green again, and asks why he's even here. He asks if he's ever been in a real fight, and says he thinks he here so someone might confuse him for a real man. Green tells Randy that tonight's main event will be Legacy vs. HHH, John Cena, and…him. Oh Christ. At least not Russo isn't booking. Otherwise Seth would walk out Champ.